If your apology involves degrading yourself, calling yourself shit or insulting yourself, its not an apology, try again.
Can someone translate this?
Don’t try to guilt people by saying “I’m sorry I fucking suck.” “I’m sorry I’m just the worst and I should die” Because thats not an apology, thats trying to guilt the other person into dropping the subject.
im going to lose my fucking shit over this tweet nothing will ever live up to this
Reblog this picture of me holding a Family Size box of Honey Nut Cheerios? I’d really appreciate it.
it was an honor being horny with you all
reading “Pitbull covers Toto’s Africa for Aquaman soundtrack” put me through the 5 stages of grief in 4 seconds
The asteroid that killed the dinosaurs killed a LOT of birds with one stone…
whos granny smith where shes getting all of these damb apples.
fun fact! granny smith is nabed aftr marea am smift frugh huh dibrack blarn eat showegh whale snert yargh hugh mort B
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hhngh… .. .. .…. … . ..
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eeach day i learn some more ! :) thank you for the share
ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like “oh are you expecting?” And i was like “uhhhh” and because im a dumbass i was like “no i already delivered.” And she was like “How long ago?” And i was just like “two weeks.” And she said “wow! You look great! When i had my first son, i looked like a mess for six months. Is it a boy or a girl?” And i was just awkwardly like “a girl….” And she asked her name and i said Chernobyl and she was like “oh what a cute name! It sounds really familiar.” And i honestly just stood there going through all that and pretending i had a human baby two weeks ago named Chernobyl because i didnt wanna tell this poor lady i was buying baby clothes for my fucking baby opossum
every time i see this text post i forget the ending and every single time it decimates me
everyone at tumblr on december 16, 11:59 PM right before staff bans titties for eternity: